From beginning to end, this book was a struggle.  Written by a father and daughter team–he’s a doctor; she’s a comedian.  From the description, it sounded like themes teens often struggle with.  Including topics like friendship, school, bodies, home, and sexuality, there’s a lot to cover.  I became disenchanted toward the beginning when the authors started making suggestions of what parents might say in order to help their struggling teens.  They go on to write “it sounds dumb because…” then say the parents are “being total bigots” and have “Jurassic-era attitudes.”  The authors repeat this theme often. 

Throughout this book, the authors strive to undermine the intelligence and good intent of parents by pointing out theoretical “dumb” things parents may say.  The authors seem to continually justify their suggestions by saying parents are afraid for their children.  They don’t encourage teens and parents to talk.  According to the authors tolerance for others is a good idea; however, tolerance for parents and their supposed outdated ways isn’t necessary because teens can take issues to a friend or a trusted adult.  Toward the end, regarding sexuality, the authors suggest that if a teen cannot confide in a parent, friend, or trusted adult, they should “…carefully select a peer group online…” 

On a good note, the authors have another repeating theme: although life, situations, and parents often suck, keep at it because it will make you tougher.  There are a few good nuggets in this book: happiness is not an accurate indicator of something’s worth (ex: school, career, marriage), “Loneliness can be hard, but falling in with crappy friends creates greater problems,” and “Don’t let the jerks who care about you the least [bullies] rob you of your values, which are the things that you should care about the most.”  And, just in case a teen was too happy with their home, they should know “…happy childhood homes can often create dangers later on…”

As a parent, I was extremely disappointed.  I get the idea that the authors had a good working theory for this book but the end product could have been 100 pages shorter and encouraged teens and parents rather than seeking to drive them apart.  There are six main chapters and within each chapter; they explore each topic in three repetitive ways which ultimately makes it like reading eighteen chapters.  The author’s also have two additional previously published books called “F*** Love, and “F*** Feelings”.  I don’t think I’ll be pursuing those books any time soon. 

Review of an Advance Reading Copy

This book was sent to Compass Book Ratings for review by Penguin Workshop

Content Analysis:

Profanity/Language:  2 anatomical terms. 

Violence/Gore:  None

Sex/Nudity:  Discussion of the inappropriateness of porn in pictures & videos; discussion of wanting, having, and not getting sex; dialog about when it’s appropriate & safe versus how to have sex.

Mature Subject Matter:

Dumb parents, parents who are bigots, cultural issues, bullies, discrimination, teen health issues, eating disorders, self-harm, sexual urges, sexual consent, gender identity, pornography, parental fighting, toxic parents.

Alcohol / Drug Use:

None