Several years ago, I read Emily Rapp Black’s book The Still Point of the Turning World, a memoir that chronicles the birth of her first child and the expectations she and her husband had for all that would follow. In her first memoir, we learn that her newly born son is diagnosed with Tay-Sachs disease and is not expected to live past the age of three. Sanctuary is Rapp Black’s third memoir and somewhat of a follow up of what her life looks like after the death of her son, and the birth of her second child, a daughter.
For those of us that have never lost a child, Sanctuary gives us a brutally honest glimpse of what life might look like for a mother grieving the loss of her child and living without a beloved piece of herself. It might be easy to look at the author’s life and think that she has healed and moved on well–after all, she has a beautiful little girl and a new husband to love her and take care of her. It is clear throughout this book though that Emily Rapp Black does not want to forget her son and how he lived and affected her life and her future. Even if it is painful and heartbreaking to remember her little boy, the loss of him is a reality she has to face daily.
This is a heart-wrenching read to be sure; however, I think it is important to bear witness to the pain that the author and her family continue to live with. There is lots of wisdom to be gleaned from this book and though no one desires to parent a child with a terminal illness, this story gives an example of how one woman’s experience changed her, but didn’t break her. I am a huge fan of memoirs and appreciated this book for the information and emotion it holds.
Review of a Digital Advance Reading Copy
This book was sent to Compass Book Ratings for review by Random House
Content Analysis:
Profanity/Language: 2 religious exclamations; 1 mild obscenity; 1 derogatory name; 10 scatological words; 1 anatomical term; 7 F-word derivatives.
Violence/Gore: A brief scene occurs where a woman is walking across a bridge and thinks about jumping, this scene is revisited a few times throughout the book; a mention is made of the lengths people will go to in a life-threatening situation and examples are given of cutting off a limb, stealing food, putting themselves or others in risky situations; death by suicide is mentioned; a report is made of a young boy dying after he falls from a rooftop; an adult ruminates over various forms of self-harm in one brief scene; in two brief scenes a woman thinks about various violent things that can occur throughout a lifetime and must be survived; a mention is made of the experience of a C-section and the recovery it entails; a brief scene occurs where a woman is concerned a man may kill himself; a mention of relatives losing their house in a tornado; a report is made of a man taking a shotgun and shooting himself in the mouth.
Sex/Nudity: A woman mentions sleeping with men she hardly knew; a mention of a woman waking up in a strange man or woman’s bed; a mention of a history of engaging in risky sexual behavior; a mention of a girl getting a glimpse of a Playboy magazine and having a conversation with parents about sexual education; a brief scene occurs where a man and woman are in a vehicle and they are referred to as having steamed up the windows quickly, kissing, and making love; adults talk about some “sex stuff” found in the basement of a house.
Mature Subject Matter:
Death; loss of a loved one; terminal illness; suicidal ideation; suicide; self-harm, divorce; mental illness.
Alcohol / Drug Use:
Mention of drunk driving; an adult recalls drinking at keggers when underage; whiskey is consumed by adults in 2 separate instances; an adult drinks mescal out of a flask; a mention is made of empty bottles of vodka and gin; an adult drinks vodka; mention of having a genetic predisposition for binge drinking and drug use.
